DO ASIAN MEN HAVE MUCH (if any) INTEREST IN BLACK WOMEN?
September 1, 2008
DO ASIAN MEN HAVE MUCH (if any) INTEREST IN BLACK WOMEN?
The following post is written in response to a curious blog reader of the post, “interracial approach to asian women” found on this very same blog: ignorance could have been bliss.
I opted for a separate posting since, while many of the considerations are the same (e.g. thoughts re: the “stuff” of dating as it pertains to individuals in various inter- & intra- racial, cultural, and ethnic groups), gender can be a big deal [breaker] when it comes to interracially dating wherein one partner is “asian”.
Below, I try (to be brief, but detailed) about interracial approaches to dating asian men. But first, of course, I must direct readers to the same ol’ precautions.
I would also like to add that, unlike my broader and generalized approach about asian women (AW) based on my frequent communication with members belonging to this group in and from various part of world, what I write here is mostly based on my interactions with asian men (AM) in North America – specifically, across Canada, New York City, and Chicago. I suspect however, that parallels could be drawn between California and Toronto…but that’s another story.
And finally, (my last precursor, I promise!), I’ve cut & pasted in the comments (in italics) from the reader I mentioned above in order to maintain a sort of dialogue. Talk with us!
Back to the topic:
DO ASIAN MEN (AM) HAVE MUCH (if any) INTEREST IN BLACK WOMEN (BW)?
I do realize with the worship of whiteness, many non-whites would choose a white over a black, never giving a black person a chance, even if the black person is decent and law-abiding, and has high morals.
By “person”, and in reference to the question, the comment suggests some “good” BW may be being overlooked. Yes, I tend to think that AM are much less likely to have an interest in BW. There are certainly many speculative reasons as to reasons why. I hash out a few below, of which I think they work in concert to the effect of an uneven interest among AM to BW. BUT! I really do believe this begin way BEFORE the BW - good or bad – ever enters the mind of AM.
BEFORE…
BM are:
… sexualized/machoified (haha – I made that up!, you know, tough, thug, “bad boy”, hyper-masculinization, etc., e.g. stereotypes of large, strong body parts, protection). Yes, I know BM are also de-sexualized too (e.g. stereotypes of disease, downlow, etc.), but follow me with this one…
AM are (in contrast to BM):
… asexualized/feminized (e.g. stereotypes of small, skinny, weak body parts) and this is internalized as low self-confidence (e.g. ‘I can’t get a BW’ that they assume would want what is “natural” (e.g. intraracial dating) and socially“desirable”(e.g. macho men).
AFTER…
distinct stereotypes about BW (e.g. strong, angry, loud, etc.) and AW (e.g. pleasers, quiet, subservient, “natural” as an intraracial partner for AM, etc.)
then, squish’em all together:
Without ever really consciously thinking about any of the above, the AM is often convinced they are ‘just not attracted to black women’.
Interestingly revealing however, is that the discourse that AM have about AW dating interracially. In contrast to the saying amongst BW in reference interracial dating amongst BM, along the lines of “there’s no/so few good black men”, I have known many AM to say things like, “we didn’t want her anyways” or “they (men of other race) get our garbage”. In a very sour grapes way, the AM exudes their discomfort and low-confidence around dating dynamics.
Of course, there are those AM that see past all of the squish (e.g. a few of my male friends and my brother date women of any race, culture, ethnicity). I call them the AM ALL-AROUNDERS in a post to follow…