stupid “smart” men

February 8, 2010

“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing” – socrates
it took me a long time to get over my biggest pet peeve about online dating. a lot of introspection, guilt, rewinding, and confusion.
you see, i like to think that intelligence comes from various sources and can be measured in numerous ways. just because i have two masters degrees doesn’t mean i’m inherently more intelligent than someone who didn’t finish high school (case study: my dad completed only 3d grade and one of my favourite wise persons). my masters mean something, some where, and to me. and to you, mr. online dater, it may mean something entirely different.
so you lie and click the “masters degree” box in your profile.
i tried to understand, in this world of class, gender, and race relations why you would. why women play “dumb”. why “graduate degree” means something very different than “professional degree”, in different countries… in the end, it doesn’t matter to me on a personal level*.

you’re so “stupid” to lie that you’re “smart”. it’s all too apparent in conversation. whereas body shape may be subjective (e.g. average/thin/fat/normal/tall/short), you clearly embraced an objective measure (e.g. 6’2″/post-grad degree/car) for yourself. in what dream land did you earn your masters degree? at the same time, you devalue and insult those who strive toward whatever that objective measure means to her/him.
save us all some time and manage expectations. if you can critically converse, in the manner of some one who may have pursued a masters degree, then tell me and provide a great explanation why you think “that box” is a sham. fine, i may agree.
but being “smart” will reveal you as stupid if you want to lie about it.

* on a societal level, women! what do you think you’re getting out of pretending to be stupid? and really, i know, poor guys have gendered expectations. be a (wo)man about it.

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