communication conciliation

May 14, 2007

My mobile and land lines or electronic & snail mail boxes are indirect extensions of me.
The point is, poking me physically is likely to result in a reaction – positive or negative – but continually poking me via my indirect extensions is fucking annoying.
I do not expect you to be at my disposal 24/7; please don’t expect that of me.

Please, entertain me…
Imagine a door that separates us.
Sometimes I’m behind the door doing something (anything!) in a room and when you come knocking, my choices are: answer the door, or not.
Sometimes, I’m not even in the room. Here, your choices include: leave a message, or not.

Any number of reasons may result in an unanswered knock or delayed return communication. For instance, I’m in the shower, out of the country, sick, don’t even know you knocked since I was on the subway or my hearing is acting up, and lo and behold… maybe I was busy.

Problem Solving Exercise:
Urgency sometimes causes reactions that may be considered otherwise inappropriate, or just plain irritating. This is an exercise to practice the avoidance of annoying others in the heat of your urgent dilemma.

Scenario.
Ok, so you need to talk to me because you have an issue you consider urgent.
You knock. Hello, anybody there?
No answer.
Here, refer to the above choices.
An hour has elapsed and still no response from me.

Consider.
Yes, I know your problem is important to you.
Yes, I believe you value my input.
Yes, I want to help.
Yes, I am your friend still.

Strategies.
– Breathe in, and then, out. Repeat.

– Consider others’ importance ranking indirect extensions

Note: Not everyone feels the same way about their indirect extensions. In fact, some may consider, say their cell phone to be a “direct line” – not me though.

– Remember importance is relative.

Note: It may be relatively of less importance, compared to their deadline in 5 minutes.

– Don’t forget we don’t all work on the same timeline.

Note: People keep different schedules – do not expect everybody to be in sync with your urgent moment.

– Seek out another person for assistance.

Note: DO NOT seek out another person to contact me b/c you think I’m avoiding you, you ninny.

– Follow-up with another knock.

Note: A follow-up knock is sometimes necessary, but try to work out an appropriate time elapse. Just ONE more is enough!

FINAL WORD: OK, so i’m guilty of not responding at times. Take it as my loss when I don’t make it to the biggest, baddest jam of the century or when I miss the opportunity to help out my dear friend. I would have wanted to, seriously. But don’t let me ruin your day when I don’t respond… embrace the opportunity to party it up or make decisions solo.

FINAL FINAL WORD (erhm, sentence): Don’t stop knocking though… I do love y’all!

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