food/love ?

April 6, 2008

it’s not a mere coincident that i stopped cooking for virtually all the boys in my life.

linking it to some instantaneous swooning from previous partners, i consciously stopped. it was with great reluctance at first. since i was a wee one, i’ve been dreaming up menus, baking up a storm, creating concoctions… my roomies from undergrad still ask for my alcoholic smoothies. i loved feeding my swim team with pancakes packed with chocolate chips and contributing to fundraiser food stations with breakfast bakes, cookies, and more.

before going university, i’d originally wanted to enroll in college for culinary arts. my latest graduate mentor, and dear friend, introduces me to others as: “… getting her phd, but really, really, in the end she’ll open restaurants”.

i get satisfaction out of feeding people yummy things (sometimes sneaking in healthy things). but the boys who too eagerly took it for love – mistakingly taking it for an attempt on my part to win their love – and too eagerly fell for me, they ruined it. not wanting to mislead the opposite sex, i feel restrained about cooking.

now, the only males i only cook for are family and gay friends.

i bring store-bought stuff for boys i like. and when i eventually meet someone with whom i can let down my guard, i guess that will be when i get back in the kitchen. peculiar for a feminist huh?

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