herpes, sex, and relationships.

February 7, 2010

the truth is that disclosing herpes in dating, is not the deal-breaker.

sorry dude, it’s you.

or rather, it may be a major consideration in having sex when dating. and i thank you for bringing it up before we got down to it. or before you thought that we might get frisky. like i had mentioned before, i think that is tres responsible of you and i appreciate the warning.

when it comes down to it, though, my decision not to go there with you – to embark on a relationship (including sex) has little to do with herpes.

herpes is just a sympton of much larger reasons why a person chooses to have a relationship or not. since herpes is permanent and/or irritating, these things of course play a part in the decision to have a possibly permanent and/or irritating relationship. the “and/or” is key here:

as it is

pain = physical, emotional, social, sexual, mental, etc. related to having herpes.

I was thinking of doing another chart, but the point is: I don’t want to join you and your red dots, that will last longer than I can foresee a relationship with you. And that is exactly my point:

herpes outlasts relationships.

as sure as one can be about the potential of a long-term relationship and be willing to share this sexually transmitted infection, you can bet your bottom dollar that herpes lasts longer than good intentions. and even if you stay together forever and ever, at best, herpes will be an occasional pain throughout forever and ever, together (fine).

personally, i’m not ready to do permanent with you. i believe that i knew before you told me about the herpes, and it forced me assess my likeliness to want to endure much more than the present with you. it’s not you, it’s me (sorry, had to!).

on a related note: now i feel better about not thinking that i was judging you on your herpes situation. this is about the non-potential of us, from me and my own situation.


One Response to “herpes, sex, and relationships.”

  1. herpes, sex, and relationships. « ignorance could have been bliss… | Health News Says:

    […] the original post: herpes, sex, and relationships. « ignorance could have been bliss… Share and […]

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