it offends me.

“white” is a category in a racial hierarchy. and for the record, in that hierarchy, i happen to be asian.

i disagree with associations of my lifestyle to being “white”, just because i care about issues of race, class, and gender, advocate for those i care about, choose not to strive for gucci, and ride a bike. what about these preferences – ways i consciously choose to live my life – make me “white”? i feel exhausted by being shunned by my supposed community.

despite the interests and activities that i partake in, i cannot remove my skin, my face, my eyes, my history, nor my lenses. i see how you see me, how your eyebrows raise and your lips reveal a slight smile, ‘oh how nice for the community to represent’. it was and is enough to discourage my attendance, to grace my token presence – to allow you the satisfaction of my colourful presence at your ‘cultural event’. i am sick of being asked to represent my supposed community.

because i speak up for issues of equity and will not speak my “mother tongue” when you hang that grimy appropriated carrot, i’m bound by the strings of enlightenment, empowerment, emancipation.

“white” and “asian” are social constructions – we make’em happen through interactions, with real results. but what does this mean for me? makes me think of the catchphrase: “if you can’t beat’em, join’em”. but join who?, and i don’t want to beat anyone… just belong  (boo hoo, i know) with equity.



my 1st blog bash/bully

February 11, 2008

everyone is entitled their own opinion. i almost always feel that if you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all (re: bambi or was it thumper?). however, a couple of days ago i happened upon a blog that completely outraged me. i will not be tracking or pinging (or whatever it is) back to it b/c i just don’t think the blogger even deserves it.

basically, an excerpt appeared in my tag surfer along the line that led to a raised eyebrow. something along the lines of:

“chinese girls are so great and all i have to do is sit here at starbucks and they come back to the hotel with me.” 

i was hooked. i clicked. i thought, ‘please tell me this is a freakin joke or there’s some substantive twist’.

on the blog, i finished reading the post that ended with the blogger noting that:

“i can get hot chicks here when nobody at home looks my way”

ok. poorly written. i tried to give this blogger the benefit of the doubt. perhaps, perhaps, he’s pulling some kind of satirical gag. or maybe, maybe he just doesn’t know any better – duh, you’re white, people are going to look when you are in asia. or maybe he’s…

i just wanted to believe that someone so scuzzy wouldn’t be blogging about it.

i then click on his ‘about’ page.

*bleepin* loser is a 60 yr old white male who acknowledges he can’t get any play at home and so is banging and blogging his way through asia.

i can’t even express how frustrated his blog made me. even after trying to forget about it, i was still boiling.

so i graced his blog with another hit and left a harsh comment.  i wrote about his whiteness sticking out and that he should not feel so special. i commented that those women he was taking to the hotel to bang were likely looking for more (e.g. a ticket out, a relationship) and that he was being exploitive. i asked him to consider why if no one at “home” would look at him, why WHY why did he think women in asia would?

surprise surprise, my comment was never cleared.

i know it takes 2 to tango, and those “asian beauties” have a role to play in his asian adventure. i’m frustrated with a lot of things. but i see their situation to be a lot more influenced by structural constraints. let’s not even begin with colonialism and…

call me bias, a bully, a bash, but i’m still bothered by this.