i’ve written previously about the meaning of how one thinks of his/her own story, the background information, which they reflect upon and select from towards a sort of presention to others. i considered how such narratives amongst men have tended to assert their self-made-man-liness. the discourse similarly running through their stories was about proving themselves amidst a struggle. 

i also considered my own story and how i used it to project myself in a manner to protect myself.

or this is what i vaguely remember writing about here.

stemming from that discussion, and recent events, i’ve become ever more aware of the ambivalence i had experience in writing this blog over the years. i often checked my statistics, hoping that someone(s) care and read often; but also worry about anonymity. this concern limited what i wrote at times as i wondered, what/if anything they were getting. in particular, when i’d written about dating interracially, the popularity of this posting led me to think about how in-group and out-group readers might perceive my thoughts, and me.

for a while, i tossed around the idea of writing a new, entirely anonymous blog.  but rather, i will just take a new approach to this blog. i don’t like the idea of erasing or discarding the past from which i’ve learned; it’s important and not to be taken-for-granted, even if it no longer centrally defines who i am. after all, the common denominator amongst past posts is me. across, interweaved, and throughout thoses posts, i believe that if one (such, as myself) is so inclined may find a core upon which to grow.

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who me, vip?

April 28, 2008

nah! however little i think my blog matters to anyone in the great big internet world, i sometimes get nervous that someone i know is actually reading this. silently, and without commenting, reading this. ahem?

is this paranoia or some sort of narcissistic character flaw? perhaps a bit of both.

but the question is: why should i care if those i know are reading my thoughts i’ve chosen to blab only semi-anonymously to the worldwide web? i guess it’s less those that i actually know that i’m concerned about, but more those people i don’t really know on a personal basis.

signing out with the theme of Jaws omniously playing somewhere afar…

bad blog

March 18, 2008

look to right —–> over there —->

my bet is that it says my top posts are: 1) interracial dating tips about asian women, 2) overheard at the university of chicago, and 3) about. 

what do all of these have in common? nothing really. except that i’m stubbornly not sticking to “the subject” and my few readers are curious about dating asian women, the university of chicago, and wtf is writing this smack?!

i crave comments, but refuse to take blogging “tips” to be purposefully “punchy” and present some onesided comment invoking post.

somebody please comment before i write something i regret. you know, along the lines of “about dating asian women at the university of chicago”… just to feel a bit like i’m writing a better than bad blog.

i’d appreciate some off-kilter tips for topics or generally anything non-spam 🙂

thanks!